Valentine's Day (2010)
Intertwining couples and singles in Los Angeles break-up and make-up based on the pressures and expectations of Valentine's Day.
Director:
Julia Roberts,
Jamie Foxx,
Anne Hathaway |
See full cast and crew »
TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1K45RdE2qlk
Rented from the library; watched alone... S.O. joined for a few.
If you want a good laugh, read the headlines on the reviews on imdb.... There are 21 pages telling you how terrible the movie is. And it got an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. Okay, so my thoughts.... great cast, but cliche to the max and no one really shined in their little bit of screen time. Since we had so little time to know them, I wasn't invested in any of the characters or the cliche's they represented. The film tried to tackle too much and didn't work. And apparently, only white people have love stories? There were so many white people! Yeah, sure we had Queen Latifah and Jamie Foxx and Hector Elizondo and George Lopez... but that was it. Unless you wanna count Jessica Alba, which I don't since she was blonde in this movie. But what really got me was how potentially interesting characters were all basically sight gags that pretended to make the film diverse: the Asians at the flower market, the couple with dwarfism that walked by, the Latino couple fighting, the Indians/wedding party at the restaurant, the sign language interpreter we saw several times. Oh and Kutcher's character saying a few words in Japanese and Spanish to let us know how cool and diverse he was. (Really, no one could understand the Bulgarian woman's accent? Maybe my subtitles helped, but still). I'm sick of diversity getting nods. If you want to show the diversity of L.A., freaking show it! Stop casting big names just to get a draw, because it clearly doesn't guarantee your movie is better. It basically felt like all of the stories were so weak and fluffy, none of them deserved an entire movie, so they lumped them all together. I also noticed that since Taylor Swift was in the film, so were some of her songs. Her character and that of her scene partner Taylor Lautner... dumb fluff. The characters were so shallow, that of course, it was used as comic relief (whereas I don't think I laughed at anything so much as sighed). A movie like this basically takes all the tropes of romantic comedies and shows you how shallow and worthless it can be. There were a couple cute reveals at the end, but nothing amazing that could save the movie. I really wish that I didn't choose this as my only activity for the evening. I didn't expect it to be great, but I hoped it would be tolerable. I just wanted to CARE about the characters. Show me the love story of the Asians that work in the flower market, or the people with dwarfism, or the lady that does sign language interpretation, or the Indians getting married (okay, I watch plenty of Bollywood) and really WHAT was with the cliche 'arranged marriage' mention?! That just undid the open-minded/diversity angle that the filmmakers were trying so hard to portray. I feel bad lambasting this movie, because there was a lot of talent in it, but the scenes felt like poorly written, superficial theater pieces that got in some trite 'funny' lines that didn't really resonate or mean anything. Or the mentions of Rumi or e.e. cummings meant to lend it some intelligence that didn't really help. The funniest bit was at the end.. SPOILER: The radio jockey saying "now for those three words we all really wanna hear: let's get naked." There was a funny gag or two in the gag reel too... Julia Roberts nod to Pretty Woman. Maybe some more.... that barely resonates enough ten minutes after I finished the movie.... END SPOILER. I did find it funny that Jamie Foxx was playing a keyboard, a nod to the movie Ray, where Foxx played Ray Charles. I bet this was one of those movies that the cast and crew enjoyed making but was misleading for the level of success it would have. Oh, and if I was a foreigner or had a hard time telling white people apart... anyone else think Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner look pretty dang similar? Anyway.... don't waste your time on the film. And if you need more convincing... read the 21 pages of reviews on IMDB to convince you it's a waste of time. Sorry to the cast and crew. (Oh and there were a crazy ass number of deleted scenes on the DVD that you couldn't pay me to watch.... like 'what character was that supposed to be again? would I have cared more? no? okay then). So, goodbye Thursday night....
Note: I actually don't hate Valentine's Day despite the plethora of years I've spent single. I think I have my parents to thank who always gave us Valentine Day cards to let us know we are loved. And I've always used it as a chance to focus on my girlfriends/friends/family and let them know I care; I don't need a commercialized holiday to do so, but we all need an excuse, right? I remember one Valentine's Day in the nerd dorms playing games and doing crab walk races with my friends. That's more fun that an overpriced bouquet or meal in a crowded restaurant on an over-pressured day.
I sure hope my experience with the movie "New Year's Eve" isn't as bad..... Fingers not crossed, not holding my breath.
EDIT: 1/31/15 9 am... I thought about the movie more and came up with more things I didn't like:
- The gay foreigner that works at the flower shop tells the Bulgarian girl "What are you saying? I can't understand you. Learn English. I did!" Seriously? No one who has ever gone through the arduous task of learning a language would lambast another person for their difficulties with pronouncing "chrysanthemums" (which I couldn't even spell w/o spellchecker). This film pretends to be so open-minded because the white guy (Kutcher) can say a few phrases in different languages, but please, you better speak English ... or else. And Kutcher asked for "somebody in the shop who speaks English with a Bulgarian accent" ... because it's not worth it to take the time to actually listen to someone and treat them with respect.
- Not to mention when Jamie Foxx tried to interview the Japanese flower guy at the market, the man who could hold conversation before suddenly became inept and said a phrase that didn't make sense and oh, white guy had to save the day again.
-Back to the gay guy at the flower shop.... who all of a sudden was suuuuuper-excited about a wedding and of course had a friend in Vegas that designs dresses for Cher and will design a dress for the bride. As if gay guys have nothing better to do than be excited about straight people's weddings and as if they assume that the bride wants their help. Obviously this was a plot device which was really dumb and contrived. Done for the story and not for any truth of character.
- It was hard to understand what the relationships were in the movie. If it was mentioned once, you better figure it out. Like the teenage girl... I forgot she said she nannied, so I was trying to figure out if she was the little boy's sister or cousin or what. And why couldn't the grandparents watch him? Seemed strange to me.
- SPOILER: (Oh and the trope of the innocence of a boy in love with his teacher? overdone.) END
- Jamie Foxx, the sports newscaster's weeeiiiiiird report after the character came out. How does mentioning "will he play house music in the locker room" in relation to a recently-out athlete make him the new #1 reporter? It seemed borderline homophobic but I wasn't really sure.... because his little speech was kinda disjointed.
- There was absolutely NO chemistry between Jamie Foxx and whatever J played opposite him... Jessica Biel. (I figured out I called Jennifer Garner Jessica above...they just look so much alike!)
-Taylor Lautner & Taylor Swift characters. I thought Lautner was going to break it off with her.... I mean, she got him a jersey with her favorite number on it (and the number was tattooed on her hand. Was that a joke in reference to her album 22 or did that not come out yet? Did she have one called 18 or something). Anyway it didn't seem like she was a good listener so he'd call it off. Nope, he was just a pushover and went with it.
-SPOILER: Shirley MacLaine's speech in the cemetery about love should have come from her husband because it was all about acceptance of the imperfections of the person you're with... but she was the who cheated (years back) so he should have the change of heart. Not her. And somehow that speech made a guy run back to a girl he'd dated for 2 weeks because all of a sudden he knew he needed to accept her faults (phone sex operator) and love her? Riiiiight. END SPOILER.
Anyway, there was a lot wrong with the movie and I know I'm not the first person to call it out. This was good practice for me. Like providing feedback for a script. Too bad they didn't try that before making the movie. :P
TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1K45RdE2qlk
Rented from the library; watched alone... S.O. joined for a few.
If you want a good laugh, read the headlines on the reviews on imdb.... There are 21 pages telling you how terrible the movie is. And it got an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. Okay, so my thoughts.... great cast, but cliche to the max and no one really shined in their little bit of screen time. Since we had so little time to know them, I wasn't invested in any of the characters or the cliche's they represented. The film tried to tackle too much and didn't work. And apparently, only white people have love stories? There were so many white people! Yeah, sure we had Queen Latifah and Jamie Foxx and Hector Elizondo and George Lopez... but that was it. Unless you wanna count Jessica Alba, which I don't since she was blonde in this movie. But what really got me was how potentially interesting characters were all basically sight gags that pretended to make the film diverse: the Asians at the flower market, the couple with dwarfism that walked by, the Latino couple fighting, the Indians/wedding party at the restaurant, the sign language interpreter we saw several times. Oh and Kutcher's character saying a few words in Japanese and Spanish to let us know how cool and diverse he was. (Really, no one could understand the Bulgarian woman's accent? Maybe my subtitles helped, but still). I'm sick of diversity getting nods. If you want to show the diversity of L.A., freaking show it! Stop casting big names just to get a draw, because it clearly doesn't guarantee your movie is better. It basically felt like all of the stories were so weak and fluffy, none of them deserved an entire movie, so they lumped them all together. I also noticed that since Taylor Swift was in the film, so were some of her songs. Her character and that of her scene partner Taylor Lautner... dumb fluff. The characters were so shallow, that of course, it was used as comic relief (whereas I don't think I laughed at anything so much as sighed). A movie like this basically takes all the tropes of romantic comedies and shows you how shallow and worthless it can be. There were a couple cute reveals at the end, but nothing amazing that could save the movie. I really wish that I didn't choose this as my only activity for the evening. I didn't expect it to be great, but I hoped it would be tolerable. I just wanted to CARE about the characters. Show me the love story of the Asians that work in the flower market, or the people with dwarfism, or the lady that does sign language interpretation, or the Indians getting married (okay, I watch plenty of Bollywood) and really WHAT was with the cliche 'arranged marriage' mention?! That just undid the open-minded/diversity angle that the filmmakers were trying so hard to portray. I feel bad lambasting this movie, because there was a lot of talent in it, but the scenes felt like poorly written, superficial theater pieces that got in some trite 'funny' lines that didn't really resonate or mean anything. Or the mentions of Rumi or e.e. cummings meant to lend it some intelligence that didn't really help. The funniest bit was at the end.. SPOILER: The radio jockey saying "now for those three words we all really wanna hear: let's get naked." There was a funny gag or two in the gag reel too... Julia Roberts nod to Pretty Woman. Maybe some more.... that barely resonates enough ten minutes after I finished the movie.... END SPOILER. I did find it funny that Jamie Foxx was playing a keyboard, a nod to the movie Ray, where Foxx played Ray Charles. I bet this was one of those movies that the cast and crew enjoyed making but was misleading for the level of success it would have. Oh, and if I was a foreigner or had a hard time telling white people apart... anyone else think Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner look pretty dang similar? Anyway.... don't waste your time on the film. And if you need more convincing... read the 21 pages of reviews on IMDB to convince you it's a waste of time. Sorry to the cast and crew. (Oh and there were a crazy ass number of deleted scenes on the DVD that you couldn't pay me to watch.... like 'what character was that supposed to be again? would I have cared more? no? okay then). So, goodbye Thursday night....
Note: I actually don't hate Valentine's Day despite the plethora of years I've spent single. I think I have my parents to thank who always gave us Valentine Day cards to let us know we are loved. And I've always used it as a chance to focus on my girlfriends/friends/family and let them know I care; I don't need a commercialized holiday to do so, but we all need an excuse, right? I remember one Valentine's Day in the nerd dorms playing games and doing crab walk races with my friends. That's more fun that an overpriced bouquet or meal in a crowded restaurant on an over-pressured day.
I sure hope my experience with the movie "New Year's Eve" isn't as bad..... Fingers not crossed, not holding my breath.
EDIT: 1/31/15 9 am... I thought about the movie more and came up with more things I didn't like:
- The gay foreigner that works at the flower shop tells the Bulgarian girl "What are you saying? I can't understand you. Learn English. I did!" Seriously? No one who has ever gone through the arduous task of learning a language would lambast another person for their difficulties with pronouncing "chrysanthemums" (which I couldn't even spell w/o spellchecker). This film pretends to be so open-minded because the white guy (Kutcher) can say a few phrases in different languages, but please, you better speak English ... or else. And Kutcher asked for "somebody in the shop who speaks English with a Bulgarian accent" ... because it's not worth it to take the time to actually listen to someone and treat them with respect.
- Not to mention when Jamie Foxx tried to interview the Japanese flower guy at the market, the man who could hold conversation before suddenly became inept and said a phrase that didn't make sense and oh, white guy had to save the day again.
-Back to the gay guy at the flower shop.... who all of a sudden was suuuuuper-excited about a wedding and of course had a friend in Vegas that designs dresses for Cher and will design a dress for the bride. As if gay guys have nothing better to do than be excited about straight people's weddings and as if they assume that the bride wants their help. Obviously this was a plot device which was really dumb and contrived. Done for the story and not for any truth of character.
- It was hard to understand what the relationships were in the movie. If it was mentioned once, you better figure it out. Like the teenage girl... I forgot she said she nannied, so I was trying to figure out if she was the little boy's sister or cousin or what. And why couldn't the grandparents watch him? Seemed strange to me.
- SPOILER: (Oh and the trope of the innocence of a boy in love with his teacher? overdone.) END
- Jamie Foxx, the sports newscaster's weeeiiiiiird report after the character came out. How does mentioning "will he play house music in the locker room" in relation to a recently-out athlete make him the new #1 reporter? It seemed borderline homophobic but I wasn't really sure.... because his little speech was kinda disjointed.
- There was absolutely NO chemistry between Jamie Foxx and whatever J played opposite him... Jessica Biel. (I figured out I called Jennifer Garner Jessica above...they just look so much alike!)
-Taylor Lautner & Taylor Swift characters. I thought Lautner was going to break it off with her.... I mean, she got him a jersey with her favorite number on it (and the number was tattooed on her hand. Was that a joke in reference to her album 22 or did that not come out yet? Did she have one called 18 or something). Anyway it didn't seem like she was a good listener so he'd call it off. Nope, he was just a pushover and went with it.
-SPOILER: Shirley MacLaine's speech in the cemetery about love should have come from her husband because it was all about acceptance of the imperfections of the person you're with... but she was the who cheated (years back) so he should have the change of heart. Not her. And somehow that speech made a guy run back to a girl he'd dated for 2 weeks because all of a sudden he knew he needed to accept her faults (phone sex operator) and love her? Riiiiight. END SPOILER.
Anyway, there was a lot wrong with the movie and I know I'm not the first person to call it out. This was good practice for me. Like providing feedback for a script. Too bad they didn't try that before making the movie. :P
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